I remember as a kid, and my parents would have dinner parties (or we went to family friends parties or organised functions) they would often play limbo – games of the 80s I guess. Then when the kids joined the line and take turn, the grown ups would always lower the bar intentionally. Some kids were fantastic at it… me on the other hand, not so much. I would usually end up crawling under it. Yet, when I was faced with a limbo bar, I never knew what to expect, depending on who was at the ends, they might be a little more lenient on us kids and adjust the height a little higher to make it a bit easier. Other times, it was quite dreadful as I queued up waiting my turn, realising that the bar may in fact be too low for me.
At this point in my life, I feel like I am facing the same bar day after day. We have decided to change clinics, and although our previous doc was good to us, we are quite disheartened that after 3 years, quite a few debts from the procedures and related expenses, we are still at starting point. Let’s face it, we are not getting any younger. Especially for mommy-to-be, it can’t be easy.
Yet the limbo bar is still daunting me, and us. We are waiting for test results, the follow-up consultation with the new doc, waiting to hear if the last results are ok and we can proceed again, what the costs will be….. yet put simply, I am anxious, and holding quite a lot of frustration and anger inside. Some days it’s better than others, but every day, I feel like I am queuing up for the limbo bar again, not knowing if I will be able to pass under it without cheating or avoiding it, hence having no result.
Why does it have to be this hard? Especially since I was never really good at limbo!