I guess, like many others, a family doesn’t expect to fall pregnant, especially if you are not trying to conceive or have difficulties. Nobody has a crystal ball and knows when their wives or partners come home one day (or whichever ways you other dads and dads-to-be have been told) and say “honey, we’re pregnant”.
In the movies, the stereotype is shock, loss of identity, a “no more boys nights” type attitude, or perhaps not… for me, it is the complete opposite of the stereotype.
Unlike the movie stereotypes, I have always wanted children – and now, it is finally happening. No shock, no withdrawals of long lost boys nights or a pre-midlife crisis. This is what I want!
Let me warn others though, things will change, and I know it. Be prepared to give your all to your baby or babies. These helpless creations of yours and your wife’s (partner, and so forth) need all of your support. Your partner does to. I personally do not believe in the old mentality of leaving all chores to the “woman”. It is a team effort, and while most men still go to work while the wives stay home to take care of the baby, do the house work, etc etc, I am a strong believer in helping as much as possible. I am certain it is not easy having all the hormonal changes that women go through, especially during pregnancy, having to carry the additional weight for the odd 9 months, the delivery, the frustrations and pains associated with labor, and then knowing that you have a little baby to care for, not knowing everything about it, its cries and all this, mostly during the day when her life partner, the person she shares everything with, is not there in that moment to help out.
What I’m basically trying to say is that just because we are men, it does not mean that we are less so if we ignore the little and big things. I do not like doing the washing, the dishes, the hoovering, ironing, folding clothes, dusting and all, but I always like to believe I help out and always have. It is more important to do these things after a baby enters your life. It is for the benefit of your wife or partner, your own benefit, but also more importantly for the benefit of your new addition to the family. I have learnt these past couple few months that indeed, a happy wife… well, you know!
I am happy to know that when I cook, and I see my wife enjoy my cooking, I am at the happiest. Similarly, when we work together as a team, a unit, to clean, work and whatever else it may be, we are truly in sync, in love and are one. I can only imaging that this bond I have with my wife will strengthen once our baby is born.
It does not mean I will see my friends no more, or never call or contact them again. It does not mean that I cannot stay up late once in a while to watch a movie or work through the night. It definitely does not mean that my life will stop. It simply is a matter of reorganising my priorities to cater for the most important priority – my family!